A Girl Walks Into a Wedding Page 9

  ‘Thanks, by the way … ’ you say, your voice coming out as a squeak, your mind racing almost as fast as your heart has started hammering. ‘For helping me out the way you did, during the wedding.’

  ‘Pleasure. Only … it’s getting a little chilly.’ Bruno takes the lapels of his jacket and tugs at them gently, pulling you towards him. He smells of aftershave, and you have to curb the urge to bury your face in his neck. You can just feel the outline of his fingers pressed against your chest where he’s clutching the lapels.

  ‘It is?’ you say. ‘Funny, because I’m beginning to feel rather warm.’

  ‘Then you won’t mind giving me back my jacket,’ Bruno says. He trails a finger from just under your chin, down your neck, very slowly and tentatively down your chest to where your cleavage is framed by the V of the jacket, and down, down, down, slipping open each jacket button effortlessly as he gets to it. His finger is so soft on your skin that your breath catches.

  ‘You want it back right now?’ you whisper.

  He holds your eyes. ‘Right this second.’

  To take things further with Bruno, go to page 143.

  To head back to the reception, go to page 156.

  You take things further with Bruno

  Your throat goes tight. You’re suddenly unable to look each other in the eye. It’s strange, feeling shy with someone you’ve known your entire life.

  ‘Bruno—’

  ‘Maybe—’

  You both speak at once. Then he shakes his head. ‘Nah, forget it. Look, I’ll see you back at the reception, okay?’

  ‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’

  As he turns back to you, you shrug his jacket off your shoulders, and stand with your breasts exposed to him, your nipples hardening as he stares at you, his throat moving.

  Then he moves towards you, you take half a step forward, and you’re holding each other, laughing and panting, and then not laughing any more as your faces nudge closer together, and then – tentatively, you don’t want to break this new spell – you touch his lips with yours. And then his mouth opens, and your tongues touch, still hesitantly – and it doesn’t feel weird, it feels disconcertingly right and familiar and warm, and then you’re devouring each other, and his hands are sliding up over your shoulders and fighting the damn dress.

  You turn round, and he wrenches the zip open with sheer brute force. It feels so good to be free of the stiff fabric, and even better when Bruno steps up close behind you, lifts your hair away from your neck, then kisses it, nipping just a little, sliding his mouth down the sweep of your neck and onto the length of your shoulder, nibbling and kissing his way along to the top of your arm.

  You’re shivering, part-desire and part-anticipation, and as he repeats the treatment for the other side of your neck, you feel his erection pressing against you even through the voluminous skirt of the dress. God, who knew he was so well-endowed?

  You turn in the circle of his arms. ‘Get this bloody thing off me,’ you beg. Even with two of you helping, the dress puts up a fight, and as you step out of it, wobbling on your heels, you lose your balance, and tumble sideways onto the soft carpet, crushing the scattered petals. Bruno sinks down with you, and then you’re lying in each other’s arms, you just in your knickers and heels.

  You lock eyes with each other: you know this is the point of no return. Bruno places a warm and slightly trembling hand low on your belly – then he slides one fingertip just below the elastic of your knickers, still holding your eyes.

  ‘Yes,’ you breathe. ‘Yes, please.’ And you slip your hands down and push off the scrap of lace and cotton, and he helps, rolling it down until you’re naked.

  ‘Your turn,’ you say, as you attack his shirt and tie. You curse as you start on his buttons, but he simply pulls the entire shirt off over his head. Shoes, socks, trousers and finally shorts fly to corners of the room, and then the full length of his naked body, its different textures and contours, presses against yours.

  He looks a little self-conscious when you draw back to look at him, but you like the slight chunkiness of his torso, the hair on his chest, the solidity of his hips. His skin is soft to the touch, and he has the most magnificent cock: dark, thick and swollen. You reach for it, and he gives a strangled groan of pleasure as your fingers fold around it and squeeze.

  Then you lean forward and lick first one of his small dark nipples, then the other. He hums with pleasure and frustration, and when you apply your teeth, he arches his back and his cock jumps in your hand.

  ‘Careful, tiger, or this show will be over too soon,’ he gasps. He rolls you flat onto your back and places his hands on either side of your shoulders, smiling down at you, and you think, my God, it’s Bruno, Bruno after all these years, and then he kisses you again, deeply, his tongue slanting against yours.

  His hand slides up between your thighs, and you open yourself up to him, sighing at the first brush of his fingers against the folds of your cunt, and then the feel of his hand parting your lips.

  ‘You’re so wet,’ he murmurs. ‘Can I see?’

  You blush, but the intimate request brings a fresh wave of heat flooding through your pelvis.

  ‘Okay,’ you whisper, opening your legs so that he can kneel between them. He nudges gently at your thighs, and you pull up your knees and spread yourself for him.

  You’d never usually expose yourself like this the first time, but you feel safe with Bruno, with the comfort of long familiarity, but all the surprise that comes with the heat flaring between you.

  You feel him spreading your pussy lips open, his fingers sliding in the slick moisture. Then there’s his warm breath on your pussy. You moan as his tongue slides slowly between your lips, pressing against the opening and then up, slowly, maddeningly, towards your clit, at the same time as he slides a finger into your cunt, crooking it slightly, making you arch.

  You realise with delight, as you drown in the double sensation of his tongue lapping at your clit and his fingers sliding up and into you, that you’re very close to coming, and he senses it too, because he shifts up to lie next to you, his hand still between your thighs.

  But before you have time to regret the loss of his mouth, his thumb takes its place on your clit, rotating in tiny circles as his fingers continue to slide in and out of your soaking pussy.

  The double sensation, intense pleasure radiating from both inside and out, sends you helplessly over the edge. Bruno slides an arm under your neck just in time to brace you as your orgasm cracks through you, your body convulsing until you’re dizzy. Followed by a sense of drifting as you flop like a rag doll, satiated.

  Eventually you open your eyes to find Bruno’s only an inch away. ‘I take it you weren’t faking?’ he smiles.

  ‘If I was a cat, I would be purring right now. Wait, what about you?’

  ‘No condom, and I don’t want to break the mood by going and begging some off Mikey.’

  You giggle. ‘That would be a downer all right. But I do have a free hand.’ You reach for that amazing cock for the second time. ‘I know it’s incredibly teenage, but why don’t we make a sandwich?’ you say, hooking a leg over his hip and trapping his erection between your heated bodies.

  At that moment, the door flies open, and you hear Cee Cee’s unmistakable voice: ‘What on earth is taking you so long?’

  There’s a pause as she takes in the sight of the two of you sprawled naked on the floor. ‘Oh for Pete’s sake!’ she yells, charging into the bedroom and grabbing the half-empty basket of rose petals. ‘Do I have to do everything myself?’

  The pair of you stumble giggling along the corridor, approximately dressed, but still fumbling with buttons and zips. ‘I haven’t seen Cee Cee that cross since I painted a moustache on her Bridal Barbie,’ pants Bruno.

  ‘Talk about Cee Cee interruptus,’ you say.

  ‘I’m in a desperate plight here,’ Bruno admits. ‘I can hardly walk upright.’

  ‘I hate to be a killjoy, but it is your
sister’s wedding reception. And I am her bridesmaid.’

  ‘And I hate to admit it, but you’re right. Let’s go and join the others – on two conditions. That you dance with me so that I know I didn’t just dream this. And that later, we have a very private dance of our own.’

  ‘Deal,’ you say, pressing a kiss on his mouth. Although, you think, like all sensible, grown-up women, you do have an emergency condom stashed in your room – and you’re deeply tempted to explore his body a little more. Would it be very naughty to drag him off for a quickie? Or should you rather go back to the reception, biding your time until a little later?

  If you drag Bruno off for a quickie, go to page 150.

  If you go back to the reception, go to page 156.

  You’ve gone for a quickie with Bruno

  You shove the bedroom door closed behind you with a foot, as you strip Bruno of his clothes for the second time that evening. He’s equally quick to help you out of yours, and this time there’s no trace of shyness as you stare at each other’s nakedness.

  Then you’re kissing again, tongues slanting into each other’s mouths, laughing breathlessly, and Bruno walks you backwards to the bed, and you collapse onto it. He’s lying half over you, kissing you as if he can’t get enough, and you run your hands down the length of his spine and press your fingers cheekily into his buttocks.

  ‘Who would have thought you’d grab me in the end?’ he laughs in your ear, and you punish him by pinching his bottom and nipping his shoulder. Then you roll him over – you want to take a closer look at his imposing cock.

  You straddle him, kiss him slowly and thoroughly one more time, then say, ‘Heading south. New continents to explore,’ before wriggling slowly down the length of his torso. You take your time positioning yourself before blowing softly up and down the length of his cock as he twitches and groans.

  You follow up that move with the most delicate and cat-like of licks, just flicking your tongue across the heated, fine-textured skin of his penis. At the same time, you nudge one hand up between his thighs to cup his balls, massaging slowly and softly. Then, taking your time, you fold your lips around just the head of his cock, in a puckered kiss, dabbling your tongue in the slit at the top.

  Bruno is writhing now, his hands reaching for your breasts, cupping them as you take another inch into your mouth, sucking more strongly now, turning your head slightly from side to side so that he can feel the softness of your inner cheeks.

  ‘Oh God,’ he gasps, ‘I’m so close, can we slow down?’

  You reluctantly let his cock slip out from your mouth, but keep gently squeezing his balls.

  ‘That was fantastic,’ Bruno murmurs. ‘You’re fantastic.’ He kneads very gently at your breasts, and you take the hint, and nestle his erection between them. The cashmere softness of the skin feels incredible, as does the pulsing heat. He presses your breasts together, capturing his cock between them, making small thrusts with his hips, and you catch the rhythm, and start to move your torso, enjoying the sensation of his shaft sliding up and down your cleavage.

  Bruno’s breath starts to come in short pants, and you draw away slightly, but it’s too late – he gives a strangled shout and comes in a series of spasms.

  You feel like Wonder Woman as you hand him tissues from the box on the bedside table and snuggle up next to him.

  ‘I think that was a compliment you just paid me,’ you say as his breathing slowly returns to normal.

  ‘It most certainly was,’ says Bruno, turning his head to brush your temple with his mouth.

  You tickle the hair on his chest lazily. ‘And I have more good news. There’s an emergency condom in my toiletry bag.’

  ‘This just keeps getting better! But perhaps we should save that for after the reception, then we’ll have all night for that slow … dance you promised me.’

  ‘You’re on.’

  Go to page 156.

  You keep it to yourself

  ‘Come on, out with it,’ Bruno says. ‘How bad can it be?’

  ‘Bad,’ you say. ‘Really, really bad.’ You sag onto the bed and Bruno sits next to you.

  ‘Okay … how about this? If I tell you a secret, will you tell me what’s on your mind?’

  ‘No.’

  He laughs. ‘I’m going to tell you anyway. Did you know that I’ve had a crush on you for years?’

  You almost fall off the bed in shock. ‘But you burnt my hair! You spent an entire summer trying to cover me in cow shit.’

  ‘Don’t you know anything? That’s how eleven-year-old boys show affection. And then I fancied you all through high school and university, but you were always going out with the cool guys, and I was just your best friend’s fat nerdy brother.’

  You’re completely thrown. But what about his girlfriend? His soon to be ex-girlfriend, if Lisa gets her way.

  ‘Did you really have no idea?’ he asks.

  ‘Cow shit didn’t do it for me, I have to be honest,’ you say.

  ‘So what does do it for you?’ His voice catches a little. He reaches over and curls a twist of your hair around his fingers.

  ‘What about Cat?’ you ask. Repeating the mantra to yourself: I will not tell him about Cat and Lisa, I will not tell him about Cat and Lisa …

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘She’s your girlfriend!’

  Bruno stares at you, then starts to laugh. ‘Where did you get that idea? Cat is my best friend. And she happens to be gay. She offered to come to stop my mother from driving me insane. “Bruno, when are you going to meet a nice girl? Bruno, why are you still single? Bruno, when are you going to get married and give me grandchildren?” She drives me absolutely berserk. And I can hardly tell her that maybe I’m single because I’m crazy enough to wonder about someone who still sees me as an annoying eleven-year-old boy.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘And besides, haven’t you noticed that Cat’s got the hots for your friend Lisa? They’ve been all over each other since the second they laid eyes on each other. I mean, you’d have to be blind not to have seen it.’

  That would be you all right. Blind. Just look at how you got your wires crossed with Steve. Although come to think of it, you haven’t given him a thought all day. And now this …

  You grin sheepishly. ‘That was the secret I was scared to tell you. I saw them together, and I didn’t know what to do or say.’

  Bruno stands up, smiles and holds out a hand. ‘Come on, why don’t you go and get out of that dress before someone puts a vase and a place setting on you? Then we can get back to the party. Maybe you’ll even consider dancing with me.’

  You nod, feeling your pulse speed up. When did he become so incredibly nice?

  Go to page 156.

  You go back to the reception

  Diversions over for now, you quickly slip into another dress – a sleek black number with a demurely high neckline, but a beautifully plunging back. You touch up your makeup hastily, noticing how flushed your cheeks are.

  Back at the reception, Tom and Jane are swaying together on the dance floor. Bruno is waiting for you next to the bridal table, and his face lights up as he sees you.

  ‘Shall we?’ he says, as a slow number starts. You nod, and he folds you into his arms.

  Aunt Lauren has Mikey in her clutches – or the other way around (either way, both look like the cat who’s found the cream), Domino are slow-dancing, a batch of toddlers clinging to their legs, and Cee Cee is gripping Tom’s dad with rather too much enthusiasm.

  Jane’s eyes widen as she catches sight of you and Bruno, then she breaks out in a huge smile. ‘I can’t believe it – I thought you two would never get together!’ Tom spins her around and she twirls away, laughing.

  Bruno chuckles against your hair. ‘I guess this means I won’t be calling you Stinky any more.’

  ‘Oh, I dunno. I’m starting to feel quite kindly towards those cowpats,’ you say. You both snort with laughter and bump noses.

  ‘I might even co
nsider overlooking your cruel and unreasonable treatment of my Action Man figures.’

  ‘Bruno. Shut up and kiss me.’

  The End

  Jane tells you the wedding is off

  ‘The wedding is off,’ Jane announces.

  Cee Cee screams. She actually screams. Even the unshockable Aunt Lauren looks flummoxed.

  You throw your arms around Jane. ‘I’m so sorry! Are you sure this is what you want?’

  Jane smiles. ‘Come with me, everyone.’

  Cee Cee is hyperventilating and has to be given a brown paper bag to breathe into. You all follow Jane outside to find Tom standing next to the wedding car, looking relaxed and happier than you’ve ever seen him, the words ‘NOT MARRIED’ soaped on the rear window.

  ‘So you’re staying together?’ you ask her.

  She nods, and you go limp with relief.

  Even an inch of foundation can’t hide Cee Cee’s sickly pallor. She finally finds her voice. ‘But … but … all my hard work! The flowers! The menu – I spent months planning it. The doves – do you have any idea how difficult it is to get hold of white doves during wedding season now that PETA is on the prowl? And … and the individual candle-holders in the shape of angels I got from Bali! How could you do this to me?’

  Jane holds firm. ‘No offence, Cee Cee, I really appreciate all the work you’ve put into this, but this kind of thing … it isn’t me. And it isn’t Tom, either.’ Jane pauses. ‘But the honeymoon’s all paid for, so we thought, why not take advantage of it?’

  Cee Cee gabbles something about gold-encrusted tea-lights and dissolves into tears.

  ‘Cee Cee, try to understand. This is what we truly want,’ Jane says. She blows kisses at everyone, and climbs gleefully into the car.

  The rest of the guests – most of whom are already dressed in their finery and fascinators – gather in the driveway to wave them off. Jane’s mother sobs on her husband’s shoulder.